My two-year-old daughter masturbates in her crib. Is this normal?

By Patrick J. McGrath OC, PhD, FRSC

Dr. Pat

Question:

I have a rather embarrassing problem. I have a two-year old daughter. Sometimes she masturbates when she falls asleep in her crib. Is this normal?

She is too young for me to talk about privacy.

I don’t want her to feel bad about herself. Should I worry about this? Is there anything I should do?

Dr. Pat responds:

Masturbation is normal, even in children this age. She has learned to soothe herself in this way. It feels good. Masturbation is almost universal in childhood.

Masturbation in childhood will not result in her being sexually deviant. It will not cause any physical harm.

If she masturbates in public, gently but firmly tell her to do it in her room. Distract her. Or ignore her.

Masturbation is not usually a sign of sexual abuse. Kids this age who are sexually abused are more likely to be withdrawn or afraid.

Inappropriate sex behaviour in an older child, say 5 years old or more, may be a sign of abuse.

Sex education should begin in the home and begin early. You have probably already told your daughter that her genitals are private. Only her doctor, her parents, and herself should touch private areas.

Your embarrassment is understandable. You grew up in a different era. It is not that long ago that masturbation was believed to lead to insanity.

Patrick J. McGrath OC, PhD, FRSC is a clinical psychologist and a researcher. He is Professor of Psychology, Pediatrics, and Psychiatry at Dalhousie University and Vice President - Research at IWK Health Centre in Halifax. Read more "Ask Dr. Pat" columns Ask Dr. Pat a question