By Patrick J. McGrath, OC, PhD, FRSC
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| Dr. Pat |
Question:
My five-year-old daughter is absolutely terrified to sleep alone at night. She sobs and sobs if I don't lie down and cuddle
her. Last night she sobbed for an hour before crying herself to sleep. Her sister, aged two years, is in the same bedroom
with her. She has a nightlight and the hall light is left on, but nothing seems to work. What can I do to make her go to sleep
alone and stay in there all night?
Dr. Pat responds:
Bedtime problems like this are very common. Make sure that there is no good reason that she is afraid of going to bed.
Make sure you have a quiet but fun bedtime. Read a favourite story.
When does she usually go to sleep? Make her bedtime a bit later so she is really tired.
Figure out how long you usually lie down with her.
Make sure she understands that:
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you enjoy spending time with her
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you need to do other things
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you will reduce her cuddles by five minutes
Leave with a kiss when you said you would.
Set up a sticker chart for her. Give her a sticker in the morning if she settles in a minute or two after you leave. Ignore
any protests.
Cut down on her cuddles by five minutes every day or two.
Give her lots of encouragement before bedtime: "I know you can do it."
She may wake up in the middle of the night. Let her settle herself. If she gets out of bed, return her to bed with no cuddles.
Don't give up all your cuddles in bed with her. It is a great time to share.
Does she cling to you at all times? Is she able to be away from you? If not, she may have "separation anxiety" and need more
help.
Thanks to Dr. Penny Corkum, a children's sleep expert at Dalhousie University, for consulting on this answer.
| Published | Reviewed by |
| December 11, 2008 |
Ross Hetherington, PhD, CPsych
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